Do you ever get bothered by what a fellow believer may partake in or permit in his life? Maybe you’ve felt uncomfortable in the allowances or by the preferences of another member of your church. Perhaps you’re on vacation and visit a local church only to find you don’t quite agree with the music choices or the decor of that particular church. The preaching was fine. It’s just that you felt that something was off; nothing wrong, just not the same as that to which you’ve grown accustomed.
We are quick to criticize or judge as liberal those who choose not to hold as conservative a stance as we might. Others are quick to write-off their fellow believers as pharisaical legalists who choose to hold to a high or strict standard in music, dress, and activity.
Before you know it, you find your self harboring a judgmental spirit. We often find ourselves justifying a critical spirit because we fail to discern the difference between our conscience and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. The longer we justify a critical and judgmental spirit, primarily when directed toward fellow believers, the more we become mean-spirited and proud.
The Holy Spirit, not your conscience, should dictate what you allow to bother you in the practice of Christian liberty you will encounter in other believers.
We must learn to discern the difference between Holy Spirit conviction and our conscience. We often confuse the feelings of our conscience for the leading of the Holy Spirit. We must recognize the difference. Why? Because Christian liberty and unity depend on it.
There is only One Spirit of God. The Spirit leads us into all truth. He convicts of sin and bears witness to our Spirit of the testimony and nature of Christ. He establishes us in the truth of the Written Word. He gives boldness in our testimony and empowers us to grow in grace and knowledge.
Our conscience is as much a part of our nature as our personality. Your conscience governs a large part of your personality. What you permit and what you disallow are generally guided by your conscience, especially in matters not spelled out in Scripture. The conscience can be influenced by authority figures (such as parents) and by the society and the cultural context in which we are raised. Our conscience is also influenced by our experiences and personality.
The Bible tells us that the natural law of God is written in the human conscience. It also tells us that our conscience can be seared and hardened.
The human conscience is not authoritative in helping us establish the truth. I may feel or believe something to be true in my conscience, but that doesn’t make it true. The essence of post-modernism is to replace the Holy Spirit and Scriptures with human conscience and experience. We see the devastating consequences playing out before our eyes in the cultural West. When one’s conscience and experience are not anchored to the absolute truth of God’s Word, society and individuals take a sharp nose-dive to destruction. See Romans 1 for further details!
The believer is to both submit to the Spirit while conforming his conscience to God’s Word. In the process of our maturing in Christ, we must recognize that not every believer is convinced by his conscience the same way you are in matters of Christian liberty. It’s amazing how quick we are to separate from a fellow believer simply because we disagree with a preference.
As a missionary, my family and I have the privilege of visiting and partnering with the greatest churches in North America. We have been in hundreds of services across America and Canada. Each church is as unique as the individuals who attend.
God loves diversity. He delights in calling to Himself those from every kindred, tribe, tongue, and nation. There is a deep longing within mankind that seeks to establish unity in our diversity. A church where grace and truth are a reality is the place on earth where true unity in diversity flourishes uncompromisingly. The church is where “there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). We are to always be endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).
The Key to Christian Unity
The key-word for Christian maturity, unity, and liberty is discernment. If we are to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, then we must exercise Spirit-filled discernment in our Christian fellowship.
Christianity is not about living out a list of dos and don’ts, hoping that somehow God will be pleased with us if we can keep ourselves fully surrendered to Him. Christianity is also not about casting off all tradition and religious formality simply because we are saved by grace. It’s not even about finding a balance between the two extremes. Christianity is all about relationship- knowing God.
As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.
John 17:2-3
A mature believer is confident in the truth of God’s Word and in the Spirit of God. He is not bothered by another believer who holds a differing standard or prefers to exercise liberty in what you may not allow. A mature believer will not condemn those who hold higher dress standards or are more strict in their personal separation.
The discerning believer recognizes the four marks of Christian unity:
Acceptance. I am accepted! By Christ, we are made acceptable in the family of God. By grace are ye saved through faith and that not of yourselves. God accepted you despite your condition, a condition we all find ourselves: sinners fallen short of God’s glory. A mature believer will recognize that we are part of the family of God. The extent of fellowship may be limited to my personal preferences, but I have no right to condemn one who is accepted by God and exercising His liberty in Christ.
Transformation. I am transformed! My nature is contrary to God’s nature. I cannot earn heaven. But God, in His great love wherein He loved us, quickened us in Christ. He made us alive. We are born-again, transformed into the image of God. Jesus lived the life I could not offer to God, died the death that I deserved, and offers me His righteousness I cannot afford. By the grace of God, I am what I am! A mature believer will recognize that his fellow believer is a new creation in Christ. We stand on common ground – sinners saved by grace.
Renewal. I am being renewed. We are not only transformed, but the renewing of our minds is also transforming us. If you have ever seen someone restore a car, it’s similar to how the Lord renews our minds. The grace of God is for all, no matter how broken we come or the abuse, the mind, and body have suffered because of sin. The mature believer will recognize that we are all at different stages of transformation. A classic children’s song says, “He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be.” I haven’t arrived. I have no right to judge a believer who is not as far along in the restoration process as I am. If your first response is to criticize or judge a believer who doesn’t look or act the way you think a believer should, you probably need more transformation work than you realize.
Grace. I am growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord. All truth revealed in Scripture points us to Christ. I will seek Christ and seek to lead others to Christ by word and deed. A mature believer understands that God gives us grace undeserving, and we must do the same for others.
I leave you with the Holy Spirit inspired words of Paul,
“Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.”
Philippians 3:12-15
We are to call out sin where we see it. We are to speak the truth in love. We need to expose heresy and heretics. We give no place to the devil and do not love the world. But as necessary as these things are, we must also strive to love one another in Christ.
How do I keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace? How do I stop getting bothered by other believers who differ from me in areas that seem to go against my conscience? By humbly recognizing that you haven’t arrived but are striving to know Christ and press for the mark of his high calling. You stand by the Spirit in confidence of the truth that God, not you, will take care of any believer who is not living the way he or she ought. Remember, if I am consumed with the passion for seeking and for knowing Christ, and if my heart is full of the grace of God, then there will be no room for criticism, judgment, or disunity.