Every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
– Jesus
There is a tendency among young people who grow up in the church to drift away from God. At some point during their teen/college-age years, they become indifferent to the church. Some fail to see its relevance to their lives. They go out into the world, do their own thing and sow their wild oats. Sometimes rebellion is at the heart of the drift but oftentimes it is simple indifference. Sometimes the young person gets caught up with the cares of this life and has not learned to prioritize spiritual things over the material.
As a result, infrequent church attendance becomes a habit. It doesn’t seem to help when their parents drop the occasional hint that they should be in church. This generation has a tendency to interpret any direct advice, even when innocently motivated, as being judgmental (which is kind of judgemental in and of itself).
Self-esteem has become the highest virtue in western civilization. This generation has been taught to love themselves for who they are. They are taught to live their truth. Therefore, any critique about the way they are living or choices they make is a direct attack on their person. Love protects, and this generation feels it is their duty to protect themselves from being offended. What offends people who think this way? Anything that is contrary to “their truth”.
“But these kids were raised in the church, attended the Christian school and have Christian parents. They were never taught to think this way.” If you think this way, then you have not fully come to grips with the enormous influence that the internet has on young people. The internet is not just a way to escape reality. For this generation, the internet is their reality. And why wouldn’t it be? They have been taught to make their own truth.
For a while, we complained about how kids never get out of the house. They’re always on their computers, or phones, or TV. But that is starting to change. For the most part, my generation has realized that they need social interaction. God created us in His image and just as God is communal, so is mankind. God said it is not good that man should be alone.
Togetherness is what God intended for us.
Rather than finding togetherness in the church, this generation is flocking to other arenas to satiate their God-given desire to interact. Why not find fulfillment in the church? Some would say it is because the church has lost its relevance to the post-modern society in which we live. But I suggest that it is not primarily the church’s fault.
The problem isn’t the church. The problem is our expectation. The problem is the redefining of truth and what this generation has come to expect of social gatherings.
We long for connection. We long for spiritual fulfillment.
We have been taught to love ourselves supremely which has led society to accept the denial of absolute truth, allowing us to define truth on our own terms. When this philosophy bleeds over into Christianity, it causes you to interpret Scripture in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. God becomes your teddy bear who is there for you when you need Him; Who wants the best for you if you will only accept yourself for who you are. You won’t find this type of teaching in a true church. So, naturally, we seek out others who think like us and will affirm us. We must do what’s best for self.
There are words thrown around today that reveal a lot about what this generation is longing for. Words like: my tribe, nation, my fam, or at the risk of sounding dated, my peeps.
These words reveal our desire to connect with others on a social and spiritual level. From night clubs to fitness clubs, we are gathering with people who make us feel good, who support us and love us. What’s wrong desiring to develop a social circle of people who love me? Nothing. This is what God intended for us. The problem is not the desire to be loved and supported. The problem is what is being supported and loved.
Self-love is a bankrupt philosophy.
Self-love will leave you empty and alone when fully realized. Obviously, fitness or going to the gym is not wrong. Being socially involved with your community should be encouraged. However, we gather with our “tribe” at the gym or wherever else you gather, and we think we are there to support each other. We think that in this relationship we will find spiritual fulfillment. However, you are gathering with this group of people who have been taught the same lies of self-love that you have believed. They are there, not to support you, but because you are there to support them.
You attach yourself to people like this, not to serve them, but because they are there to support you in your quest for self-love. The emptiness of self-love is masked by the pretext of social interaction. It is masked by friendships formed with the purpose of supporting each other’s self-love. You think you love your friends. You actually only love them because of how they make you feel. You love that they support your truth.
Love like this is not love at all. Love is selfless. Love serves others. This is the opposite. It is selfish. It only serves self. Call it what you will, but it is not love.
This is why the church is unpalatable for people who think this way. First of all, the church is the pillar and ground of the truth. The church is not called to define truth on its own terms but to proclaim the Truth as revealed in Jesus Christ and His Word.
Someone who defines truth on their own terms, based on how they feel, will find offensive any declaration of absolute truth. They reason that declaring absolutes is not only offensive but dangerous. To the self-love advocate, absolute truth is hate speech and violence when it is contrary to “your truth”.
Secondly, we gather as a church to serve one another in selfless love. The church is not a place to be served. If you go to church only looking to get something out of the social interaction that comes naturally to the function of the church, then you’ll probably walk away empty. Why? Because the church is a place to serve, not to be served. The church is a place to selflessly love others, not because of how they make you feel, but because it is how God loves us. The paradox of Christian love is that the more you give freely of yourself, expecting nothing in return, the more you receive.
Jesus put it this way: “He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour” (John 12:25-26).
Don’t go to church for yourself. Go to serve.
The church is only relevant to the person who comes with no personal expectations. Only the humble are raised in honor. And if you go to church with the mindset to serve others in humility, then when the preacher declares the truth about how sinful we are, you will not be offended.
In fact, you will learn to hate your life in this world and run to the Father who loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you in order that He might transform you into His image and make you acceptable in Jesus. Go to church with a heart to serve, follow Jesus and God will fulfill your spiritual hunger with His glory.