One of the worst characteristics a young person can possess is that of entitlement. The feeling that you inherently have a right to anything is cultivated in a heart of ingratitude and pride. One big job of a parent is to steer their children away from developing a sense of entitlement. Those who are most susceptible to becoming entitled brats are they who generally already have their every need cared for.
And herein is the irony of entitlement. We risk becoming entitled only because someone else has fulfilled their obligation, even sacrificing their rights, to meet our needs. We become entitled when we fail to recognize the sacrifice of someone else to provide for us what we enjoy. If you think you inherently deserve something then you have probably never worked to earn what it is you desire. If you have enjoyed something you didn’t earn, it is because someone else earned it for you.
If you have children, then you know that ingratitude and entitlement seem almost to be the default setting at birth. Now that I am a father, nothing bothers me more than when a child is ungrateful for a gift I purchased for them or an expensive vacation we spent weeks planning. Children don’t often recognize the sacrifices a parent makes to provide for their needs.
There are two things that can mature a person out of the prideful sense of entitlement: experience and/or loss. Hopefully, you do not have to experience loss before you recognize the value of what you had. Unfortunately, I know many who have lost a loved one and live with the regret that they did not appreciate what they had while they had it.
Experience will also root out a sense of entitlement. Now that I am a father, I realize more and more what my dad truly means to me. As a child, I did not fully comprehend the sacrifice my dad made to provide for his family. Now that I have my own children I can appreciate my own father better. I took for granted the hours of hard work he put in just to put food on the table. He didn’t always work the ideal job with convenient hours. But he did it without complaint. He was a father and a father fulfills his obligation to his family whether he is recognized and appreciated for it or not.
But he was also a good dad. A father fulfills his obligation to his family. A dad goes beyond what is required by duty and sacrifices his rights and his desires to invest in the wellbeing of his children. Tired and exhausted, my dad would come home from work, change his clothes, grab a bite to eat and take us to Little League. He rarely if never missed a game. He didn’t have to be at every event. He didn’t have to spend his extra time taking us to ball games or the zoo or simply playing catch with us in the backyard. That is what makes a good dad. He does what he is supposed to do whether he is thanked for it or not. Even when he has teenagers going through rebellious stages, he never stops providing. He never stops sacrificing. He never stops being a dad.
I didn’t always appreciate all that my dad did for me. Had I known then what I know now about the sacrifices of being a dad, I would have shown my love and appreciation more. Now that I know, my dad is the dad I would have loved because he was and is exactly what he always was: a good dad.
