The Godly Home Series
I do a lot of reading on what the Bible has to say about raising a family. My wife and I have 3 children. Like most Christian parents, we have an intense desire to see our children follow the Lord both in salvation and in service. As a father, I have an obligation to the Lord to train my children in the disciplines of godly living. It is not good enough to simply raise our children with an awareness of God. James 2:19 tells us that demons also believe in God, and tremble. If a general awareness and belief that there is a God won’t change a demon from his wicked ways, it’s highly unlikely it will affect change in our children (not saying they are little devils or anything…but).
There are disciplines of godliness that must be put into practice in our own lives and then taught to our children. Physical exercise is good but only produces temporal results of no eternal value. Godliness is a discipline that profits both this life on earth and produces results that will last for eternity. The Bible gives no guarantee that our children will grow to love and honor the Lord. However, if we consistently put into practice biblical principles of godly discipline and train our children to do the same, when they are older, it will not depart from them. Our children must experience God in reality, in everyday life. They must learn who God is and what He expects of us. They must learn, above all, to fear God in holy respect.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:7
Bad influences abound. Evil targets our young people, it seeks to deceive the ignorant and the attacks vulnerable. Today’s children are exposed to the constant invasion of evil influences through television, radio, music, the Internet, social media, and so on. Proverbs 1:10 warns: “My son if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.” We must train our children to exercise biblical discernment through the practice of godly disciplines that they may combat the allure of the world, the flesh, and the devil.
Practice what you preach
There are two ways in which we can prepare our children to face the world and honor God:
- Train them in godly disciplines
- Teach them the true consequence of sin
One way in which we can train our children in godly discipline is by developing and displaying a faith that is real before them. In order to display a real faith, you must have real faith. Christianity is the only religion that you can neither be born into or convert to of your own will. People say all the time that they were born into a Christian family, but that does not make you a Christian. Also, since we are saved by faith and not by works, you cannot be converted to Christianity by simply determining that you will follow Jesus and obey the Bible or by going to church. You have to be born again, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.
Many parents are looking for there children to have some sort of conversion experience which is usually simply repeating a prayer that they have been led to say by a well-meaning parent or minister. I have no greater yearning than to see my children saved, but I can’t save them by willing them to be saved. Salvation is not of blood (you’re not born into it) nor of the will of the flesh (you can’t earn it through works), nor of the will of man (no one else can mediate for you or procure it for you). You must be born again, not converted but made a new creature.
Parents need to be sensitive to the working of the Holy Spirit in their children. One way to become sensitive to the Holy Spirit working is by our practice of real faith. Children need to see real faith in us. The truth is, our children learn by watching us practice what we teach more than by listening to what we teach. James 2:20 says, “But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?” You cannot procure salvation through your works, but real, biblical faith will produce godly works that glorify God.
Paul wrote to Timothy and declared, “I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day; Greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy; When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also” (2 Timothy 1:3-5).
It is thought that Timothy’s father was not a Christian. Timothy grew to honor the Lord with a testimony of having real (unfeigned) faith. This faith was put on display in the life of both his grandmother and mother. They did not only adhere to religion but had real tangible faith. Strive to have sincere faith in walking with God every day.
Train them in the discipline of prayer
God answers prayer. Teach your children to pray. Teach them to depend on the Lord. Show them that your faith is expressed by depending on God for our needs. As is appropriate to your child’s age, share with them your concerns and fears and take it to the Lord with them. Teaching them to practice Philippians 4:6-7 may very well be the most important life lesson you can impart:
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
We have power outages all the time here in Senegal. My oldest son becomes very agitated when the lights go out, especially during a storm. When he was very young, he locked himself in our bathroom and then the power went out and he was alone in the dark. We heard his crying and came to his rescue, but that event left an impression on him. We taught him to take his concerns and fears to the Lord and trust God to give him peace. Once when I was away, the power went out during the night. Our son suggested to Julie that they pray for the power to turn back on. Not wanting to discourage his desire to trust the Lord, Julie prayed with him. No sooner had the word “amen” left his lips but would you know it, the power turned back on.
Practice the discipline of prayer. Make sure the only prayers your children hear from you are not the formulated “bless this meal” prayers we offer at supper. Document your prayer requests and rejoice with your children when they are answered. Nothing reveals the reality of God more than answered prayer.
Regularly teach and apply the Scriptures to daily life
But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
2 Timothy 3:14-17
Read the Bible with your children. Memorize Scripture together. You don’t have to be an expert teacher or gifted orator. The Bible is compared to a seed that is planted in the ground. It does not matter whether an experienced farmer or a young child plant the seed; when a seed is planted in good ground, it will produce fruit. Be confident that the word of God will produce transformation in your child’s life. Timothy was an effective minister because he had been taught “from a child” the holy Scripture.
Letting your kids see your heart for the Lord and His Word is more important than just filling their minds with the knowledge of the Bible. Maybe the reason devotional time with your family is boring is that you have not developed a sincere love for the Bible. Develop a love for the Scriptures by seeking Jesus in your Bible reading. Don’t seek to grow in theological knowledge alone, as important as that is. Jesus told the Pharisees that they searched the Scriptures because in them they thought they would find eternal life. “But these are they which speak of me,” Jesus explained. If seeking Jesus is not the primary desire in reading the Bible, you risk becoming pharisaical in your application of its truth.
Bible doctrines and principles are essential to living a prosperous and blessed life, but they do not guarantee that your child will walk with God. They need to see that you love Jesus. Speak the truth in love. Be in love with the Truth. Make a big deal about Jesus. When children see the love of God displayed in Christ along with our love for God who first loves us, they will also learn to love Jesus.
Anyone who has a measure of influence over children must be determined to train them in these basic godly disciplines. Christianity is not always fun but it is real. Make sure that your children are learning the disciplines of godly living. If their only intake of spiritual things is in Sunday School or VBS, then we are failing to show the relevancy of our faith to everyday life. Don’t raise your children to believe that Christianity will get you a piece of candy on Sunday but has no real impact on their lives during the weekdays.
In the next article, we will look at the importance of teaching our children the true consequence of sin. Children not only need to see the reality of what is good, but they also need to see the truth of the devastation sin effects on those who choose to follow their own way.